Working Woman

My day:
6:30 Got up, showered
7:00 Ate breakfast, had my coffee, read the Bible, got ready for work
8:00 Left the house
8:30 Arrived at work (OK, it was more like 8:40. I am habitually late.)
9:00 Helped serve breakfast and walk morning laps in the Gathering Room (I work at an adult day care center with people more than three times my age. I love them.)
9:30 Sit-down Tai Chi (very relaxing; I love this part of the day)
10:00 Read the news to our clients
10:30 Took a short break, read part of a short story from this book
11:00 Led a game of Trivial Pursuit with my clients (Team A won. It was fun.)
11:30 Sit-down exercises with my clients (A few of us stood up for the line-dancing part. Line-dancing is so much more effective standing up.)
12:00 Served lunch (Vegetable soup followed by macaroni and cheese with ham and stewed tomatoes. Unless you're on a low-salt diet in which case you got peas and carrots.)
12:45 My lunch break, which I enjoyed outside in the lovely sunshine (No stewed tomatoes for me! A ham and swiss sandwich on a potato roll, fresh strawberries and kiwi, and the last slice of Easter's Cherry Chess Pie)
1:30 A game of indoor golf with the clients
2:15 Office work (End of the month = Newsletter time! It's going to be a crazy few days getting this newsletter together)
4:30 Drive home, including a brief stop at Wawa to fill my leaky back tire with air
5:15 Dinner prepared by my fabulous husband. Ham, green beans and potatoes with macaroni & cheese! A perfectly simple meal with easy clean-up.
6:00 Work on freelance project, of which I am thoroughly tired and am thrilled to be completing this week.

My day, as I wish it would have been:
7:30 Wake up
8:00 Get up and go for jog in the cemetery 
8:30 Get back home, shower, lather on cocoa facial, lotion feet, eat a crumpet with strawberry jam while coffee brews
9:00 Enjoy coffee on the porch with morning devotions (Hope neighbor does not walk by and see cocoa facial)
9:30 Wash off facial, vacuum living room carpet, dust furniture, open widows for some fresh air, water plants
10:30 Work on book review of Bel Canto which I'm writing for my other blog
12:30 Meet an old friend for lunch (Order a salad with mandarin oranges and feta cheese, if possible. And a strawberry lemonade.)
2:00 Browse discount stores for home decorating items on sale
3:30 Write a letter to a long-missed friend across the country
4:00 Clean the bathroom, wash some stockings, mop the kitchen floor
5:00 Start dinner (Pesto Pasta with Chicken and Zucchini or All-American Chili)
6:00 Serve dinner to my ever-complimentary husband, and then settle in on the couch with a bowl of Cookies 'n' Cream ice cream and an episode of Downton Abbey.
7:00 Read a few chapters of PG Wodehouse before drifting, carefree, off to sleep

The real day versus the dream day. Life as it is compared to life as I wish it could be. Duty against pleasure. The things I wish could fill my day are squashed into evenings and busy weekends, placed on To Do wish lists for when I have extra time, and sometimes given up on completely. Instead I serve decaf coffee with Sweet and Low, play indoor golf, write low-budget newsletters and marketing materials, spend over an hour in my car each day, and ponder - always - all the other things I could be doing.

What I hate about work is not the work itself. I love "my old people." I enjoy serving lunch and morning Tai Chi and even the occasional game of indoor golf or bowling. I don't mind the work I do in my office, either. Writing newsletters, creating ads and marketing materials, filing medical paperwork, updating databases and sending emails. It's not such a bad gig.

My problem, at the root, is pride. I long, I suppose, to be a woman who does not need to work. I long for the freedom of choosing, hour by hour, how to spend my day. I yearn to be a woman dedicated to home, family, friends, and mostly her own pace. "Is that too much to ask," I hear myself saying. If it results in utter dissatisfaction with the everyday ins and outs of life, then yes. If it causes me to harbor bitterness toward my boss, my coworkers, others on their morning commute each day, the working world at large, then yes. If I had all that I wish for, and were content, I would be basking in the supreme pride of self-success. My journey each day keeps me from pride. It prevents satisfaction and requires me to find pleasure in smallness. It demands thankfulness. Most of all, it causes me every day to examine priorities, time commitments, and needs and to shed that which is unnecessary. It forces me to preserve my energy for the One who deserves it most and convinces me of my own need for Him.

I would still choose my dream day if I could. I'd trade the Bingo and the 1940's trivia games and the new brochure for a day to myself. But for now, I'm called to be a Working Woman. For now, I will use each day to starve my pride and nourish my soul with more permanent satisfactions.